It is likely for many of you first year teachers that you are in a phase of disillusionment. This typically happens for first year teachers after a couple months of school and can last for quite a while. You may have been observed and evaluated by an administrator, which can add a lot of stress to an already stressful job, leading to uncertainty in your competence as a teacher. The reality of the commitment to teaching isn't always clear before you start teaching, and during the disillusionment phase, teachers can sometimes question their decision to become a teacher. You might have been sick once or twice (or more!) which compounds feelings of dissatisfaction. The needs of students feel urgent but classroom management issues might be getting in the way of accomplishing what you want to academically with your students.
What you need to know is that you are not alone. It might not help to know that others feel this way, but they do! I did big time in my first year of teaching, and still feel this way at times. It does go away, especially if you have a supportive network of folks to talk about this with - either at your school or friends from your preparation program, or friends who don't know teaching but know you and can provide some boosts to your self-esteem. But this feeling of disillusionment can be a very difficult challenge to get through in your first year of teaching. It is a very real and frustrating phase.
Winter break will provide you an opportunity to reflect and reset. You need some time to build yourself back up. Take lots of time for fun, and set some realistic goals for the spring, both professionally and personally.
I'm off next week, but will be back posting in 2012. Happy holidays, dear readers, and a warm, healthy, happy new year!